A practice in “Falling Up” when disaster strikes
In June of 2020 I was abruptly laid off for the first time in my life, but instead of despairing, I chose to “fall up”.
I’ve been a software engineer for over seven years, and for most of that time I have been salaried, with medical coverage and some form of paid time off, though some companies were more stingy with time off than others.
This isn’t a brag (well, maybe a little), it’s to show that I’m used to stability; it’s all I’ve really known. That stability has eked into other areas of my life to the point that I am now more reliant on continued stability than I was, say, three years ago.
I own a home now, with a mortgage that needs to be paid every month. My partner and I have a small herd of cats and dogs, and they need stability to be fed and cared for every day.
Finding stability early in life is nice — and I feel very fortunate for what I have — but it leaves a critical gap in my experience. I don’t always know how to deal with sudden change. Hell, I don’t always know how to deal with gradual change.
This week started just like any other week, but everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.
Sorry — even in a crisis I can’t stop memeing. Serious now.
Everything changed when I was abruptly laid off, along with around 50 of my friends and coworkers. The company I worked for had a few offices spread across the US, and ours got the axe as a result of financial pressure from COVID-19.
There were signs of the impending amputation (signs that are much clearer in hindsight), but I can’t say I predicted that this would happen, or that it would happen during the start of what will likely be a recession.
I know I’m not alone here — the last figure I saw showed that close to 40 million Americans have filed for unemployment in the past few months. I know my situation isn’t unique, but since working in software jives well with staying home for prolonged periods of time, I thought my job was safe.
I was wrong.
We’d been working remotely since mid-March as part of our social distancing protocol, so the news was delivered over video call. The announcement took about fifteen minutes.
At first, I didn’t feel much of anything. As they told us our office would be closed permanently, I had a hard time connecting the words to my own reality. It didn’t seem real, because I hadn’t been through anything like it before.
How could I suddenly not have a job, when I have always had one?
It sounds hilariously naive when I write it out, but that’s what prolonged stability does: it makes life seem predictable, even if you know it isn’t.
Once I settled into the situation, I started to have random, anxious thoughts, ranging from grave to frivolous.
- My partner isn’t working right now, so who will pay our mortgage when our small savings runs out?
- One of the cats has a strange bump on his nose, how can we pay to have a vet look at it? What if it needs surgery?
- I already promised to help the neighbor pay for a new fence, and it’s scheduled for next week. There’s 800 bucks gone.
- I really wanted to try that handmade noodle place, but restaurant delivery is thirty bucks we could spend to keep the lights on.
- How am I going to support my fountain pen collection now?
It would be very easy to let these thoughts take over, panic-search for a new position, and desperately grasp the first offer I get. Even before my sudden unemployment, I was getting unsolicited emails from recruiters looking to poach me for their ‘edgy new startup’ (a direct quote), so it would be all too easy to land a new position that might not be the best fit for me, just the first fit.
Coincidentally, or perhaps through some twist of fate, I had been reading The Happiness Advantage when this happened. The Happiness Advantage is a book centered around the study of positive psychology. Rather than studying psychological problems, Shawn Achor and the many, many researchers cited in the book, study when things go well. Happiness can be a cause for success, instead of the other way ‘round.
I must have made a hundred highlights in my read through this book, perhaps more. Even the introductory chapters are so dense with solid research that I had to slow down to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Some of the studies I had heard of before, but others were new to me and exciting because of what they suggested. There are so many ties between a positive mindset and success in all its forms.
When my layoff happened, as fortune would have it, I had just finished the chapter on “Falling Up”. The premise of the chapter is that when disaster strikes, people often believe that the only two options are to crash and burn, or survive the disaster. If they think there are only two options, those two options are all they see.
Shawn Achor proposes a third option with an upward trajectory, “…remember that there is always a Third Path upwards — your only task is to find it.”
Take a difficult, hopeless situation and keep looking for opportunities. Use a bad situation to improve, rather than just survive.
I’ll come out and say it: this sounds much easier than it is.
But, there’s hope.
After I got through the panic, I knew I had to make a plan. As I sat down and made a list of potential next steps, I started to feel more optimistic than I felt I had any right to be.
I’m no psychologist, but I think the difference was how I framed the situation. Snippets of my reading from The Happiness Advantage came back to me, reminding me how powerful a positive mindset can be. I believed in that third option of “Falling Up”, and I was looking for it.
Instead of thinking, “I hope I find something before money runs out,” I started to think, “Now I am free to choose what I will do next.”
Taking time to consider positive possibilities not only makes me feel better in the moment, but there’s science behind its efficacy. With abundant examples, Achor wrote about studies showing that even short-term improvements in mood change how the visual cortex processes information and improve the chance that a person will recognize new opportunities when they are presented.
Exactly what one needs for a job search, or, really, any difficult situation.
So, what did I decide to do?
Taking stock was the first step.
Positive thinking only “works” if you believe it. It isn’t magic, just psychology.
So, I started by measuring the ‘runway’, so to speak. How long can I afford to explore new, creative options if I only want to dip into cash? How long if I am willing to dip into investments? What is the realistic amount of time I can spend exploring opportunities before it becomes irresponsibly risky?
I made a trimmed-down budget to see how much we really needed to spend each month. I compared numbers: my minimum budget to the amount of money in the bank.
From there, I can decide how close I want to cut it. How long do I think it will take me to find a new job once I buckle down and start applying?
I came up with a timeframe: two months.
This window of time is my possibility window. I am confident that if I spend 2 months exploring what I want to do, I will still have time for plan B if it doesn’t pan out.
Whatever I want to do, I know that I have this amount of time to try things that may fail, and everything should be okay. Of course, I can’t know that everything will be okay with any certainty. I’m not psychic.
But, that’s true regardless of what action I take.
By thinking through my options I have given myself a foundation to stand on. A positive outcome to believe in. Making this plan gives me agency after my world has been upturned.
The next two months of freedom
Once I had my time frame figured out, I had to consider priority. I’ve mentioned this in my article about time blocking, but I am a person who wants to do everything.
I have half a dozen projects going at any one time, and it’s so easy for new hobbies and interests to catch my eye. Knowing that, what do I focus on for these two months of freedom?
After some journaling and consideration, I decided to take two projects that have been drawing my attention, and combine them: game development and Twitch streaming.
I have been working as an Android developer, and before that I was a Web developer, so game development isn’t an entirely new skill set for me, but until now I have lacked the time and follow-through to finish a game. Now is my chance.
See? There are so many ways to frame this layoff as a constructive event, rather than destructive.
Twitch streaming is another thing I’ve been really into lately. It started as a way to connect with people when the lockdown started, but it is strangely addictive to see the growth of a small community. And, gaming with friends is always better than gaming alone.
Combining Twitch streaming with my game project, I’ve decided to start doing a daily game development stream, at least through the month of June. Streaming every day, connecting with my community, and holding myself accountable.
They don’t have to be long streams (I’m thinking 2 hours, tops), but the idea of showing up every day and keeping a record of my progress is very powerful. If this doesn’t drive solid progress on my game project, at the very least it will continue to foster community on Twitch. Win-win.
I was struck by layoffs, and sat through the panic. I assessed my situation, framed it in a positive light, and made a plan.
Now I need to execute.
I still feel optimistic, even now that I’ve had a day or two to think about my plan. I still have the distinct feeling that I am free, rather than doomed. I feel good about my next steps, and I think that is largely due to what I learned from The Happiness Advantage and how I have approached this situation as a result.
I will plan to write another post when I’ve completed my 30 days of streaming, but if you are excited to see how I am doing, you are more than welcome to stop by at twitch.tv/savallion. If you give me a follow, you can get notifications when I’m live.
Until then, I hope you’re doing well. I believe that you can be, even if you’re dealt a less-than-optimal hand, like I was.
Best of luck to us both.
