Mindfulness is for everyone
Even if you aren’t seeking enlightenment.
“Meditation” can mean different things to different people. In a historical context, meditation gets even harder to pin down, as its origins are religious in nature. Even modern meditation, detangled from its religious roots, can feel ephemeral since it happens exclusively inside the mind.
Dan Harris explores meditation in his book 10% Happier, which I recently read for the second time. The first time I read it was years ago, before meditation had really entered my personal sphere. As I read it for a second time, it hit me in a different way.
I went into 10% Happier as a skeptic. Not just skeptical of meditation, but of the book and the value promised in its tagline: self-help that actually works.
The book opens with a bit of backstory about Harris and his history with anxiety, drugs, and therapy. He’s a journalist, journeying to war zones in search of news airtime and fighting for every scrap of career advancement he can get. He knows that he has to be vigilant to maintain his competitive edge.
I couldn’t relate to the intensity of his goals, or to the fierce competition that he dealt with on a daily basis. It was difficult for me to get through those first few chapters. As I learned about Harris, and what he was all about, I started to doubt that there would be anything in the book for me.
This man was so wildly unlike me that it seemed impossible to find common ground.
Luckily, I stayed with it, and I’m glad that I did. Not only is Harris a compelling writer, but it turns out we actually do have some things in common.
For Harris, his journey started when he worked as a journalist reporting on religion. This is where I found the first similarity between us: we were both raised atheist. Not only that, but we are both, to some degree, resistant to the idea of religious faith.
This similarity helped me bridge the gap between myself and the “fluffier” ideas around meditation. Enlightenment, zen, transcendence. Harris was coming at this from a place that felt familiar to me.
Later in the book, he describes being a young journalist and the low-key impostor syndrome that comes with being younger than your professional peers. There’s pressure to work twice as hard to prove yourself, and any mistake could reveal that you don’t belong.
I work as a software engineer, and I also entered the workforce younger than the average engineer. The pressure to learn quickly and perform at a consistently high level is something I know very well.
Harris and I are still very different people, but I had these touchstones to keep me connected to his story. Maybe this guy did have something to teach me.
I won’t summarize the entire book here (you can read it for yourself), but I will say that Harris’ writing continued to be surprisingly relatable.
He stepped through his experience with various self-help gurus such as Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and Mark Epstein. At each introduction of a new “character”, I found his skeptical thoughts reflecting my own. He had the same questions that I did, and he pushed until he found answers.
Or, something resembling an answer.
Harris’ practice and understanding of meditation changed drastically on his journey, but as readers, we have a bird’s eye view. We don’t have to trudge through the same trials.
We can skip right to the good part: let’s try meditating.
After years of casual practice, I still consider myself a novice at meditation. It’s a skill that is both easier than it looks, and harder than it looks, but I have a decent grasp on the basics.
1. First, get comfortable. Don’t worry about sitting the “right way”. Find somewhere solid that will let you relax your body. You’ll make things easier if you can find somewhere quiet and free of distractions, but in-ear headphones usually do the trick for me.
2. Set a quiet timer. I say quiet because most timers are designed to alarm you. We want to avoid that. If I don’t set a timer I find that I spend time thinking about when meditation will be over. With the timer set, I can relax knowing that the timing is taken care of.
3. Pick something to focus on. Your breath is a good option, because it’s always with you, and it’s always active (hopefully). Follow your breath, or pick a mantra, or focus on how your body feels, piece by piece.
4. Just… watch. Watch where your mind goes. If you’re like me, you’ll notice in the middle of meditation that you’ve been thinking about some random thing for several minutes. And, if you’re like me, you’ll feel bad about it. You’re supposed to be focusing. But it’s okay.
5. Bring your attention back. Without a big fuss, go back to your breathing, or whatever you decided to focus on. No matter how many times you find yourself thinking about your next grocery run, or the funny show you saw on TV, or wondering what dogs dream about when their feet start to sleep-kick, don’t sweat it. Just start again.
That’s it! That’s all it takes to meditate.
The key, in my opinion, to getting benefits out of meditation is to frame it as a game. It’s a game to see how many times you can refocus your mind. See how quickly you can catch yourself wandering. See if you can identify the point where you start to lose track of your thoughts.
If it’s a game, it’s easier to think of “losing” as an inevitable and harmless part of the practice. When you are playing [whatever Battle Royale shooter is popular this week] and you get bested by another player, you’re dead.
…and then you start another match.
It’s all in good fun, and in both cases, meditation or video game, you’re building skills whether you win or not.
Let’s hop to another metaphor and say meditation is like running. When you go for a run, it isn’t the individual step that makes you fit. It’s taking one step, and another step, and another step. All the steps together, over days and weeks and months, is what makes you fit.
Not only that, but you’re doing more than strengthening one set of muscles. In running, you have side effects: your heart gets stronger. You process oxygen more efficiently. You burn off cortisol and reduce stress.
With meditation, you have the direct benefit of improving your ability to focus, but you have side effects here, too. According to Healthline you have the side effects of reducing stress, improving quality of sleep, reducing blood pressure, and preventing memory loss with age.
Mayo Clinic also reports that there are possible connections between meditation and pain management, treating cancer symptoms, and aiding digestive issues.
Maybe you will find the side effects more compelling than the direct benefit, or maybe not. Either way, you are looking at several facets of potential improvement in your life as a result of one simple action. Or, inaction, if you will.
Dan Harris concluded his book by reiterating the title: practicing meditation made him 10% Happier.
I’d be hard-pressed to put a number on it, but I am inclined to agree. When I am meditating regularly, my life isn’t shaken to its core, but I notice little things improving. Little things that add up into big things. As with any health-improving endeavor, the results come with consistency.
If you want to give it a try, you already have everything you need to get started.
Good luck.
